Love is not always a fairytale. Occasionally, it takes some work to get the relationship you want. When trying to get someone to fall in love with you, everything you do and say plays a massive role in whether you’ll succeed.
From your body language to the way you dress and carry yourself in a crowd, every action speaks volumes about who you are.
If you find yourself pining over someone you know would be a great match – you already get along, and the chemistry is there – but they aren’t yet able to see you, or you already have a special someone, but don’t quite have that storybook romance, have no fear, help is here. This is your go-to guide on how to make someone fall in love with you.
Be Emotionally Stable
First and foremost, whether you’re already in a relationship or have a cute stranger in mind, to win someone’s love, you need to make sure that you are emotionally stable. This means you aren’t still getting over someone, afraid to be in a committed relationship or at a bad place in your life. If you are trying to attract long-term romantic love into your life, you need first to make sure you’re ready for it. For instance, can you handle a casual conversation with your partner which happens to bring up something you have a bad experience with? Do you need to have their phone or social media passwords? Do you feel entitled to know the number of people they’ve dated in the past and if they’re still friends with any? If questions like these make you feel strong negative emotions, like anger, fear, or an almost depressive sadness to the point that you become upset with your partner, it’s best to consider working on yourself before attempting to make someone love you.
For those still searching…
Right from the start, you want to make sure you’re catching this person’s eye. Even though people say, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” we all know that how someone presents themselves is not only an indicator of their personality but the very first point of attraction. This is even more crucial in finding a partner, because your physical appearance, which includes both your clothes and how you wear them, will either entice someone immediately or be a complete turn-off. You are more likely to make someone fall for you at first sight if you are physically appealing, which makes them more interested in getting to know you better, paving the way for love. What is best to keep in mind when seeing your potential interest, whether it’s a first encounter or the next time you see them.
Consistent Eye Contact
In helping someone fall in love with you, a great step is to look directly in their eyes. According to some studies, the simple act of eye contact can make all the difference in the process of a person falling in love. As they say, “Eyes are the windows of the soul,” and can make someone feel as though they are connected to you – even without knowing you well – resulting in a feeling of affection. Don’t get discouraged if the other person avoids it; however, it can make some people feel awkward, and a bit overwhelmed. Just remember to keep the eye contact casual, but consistent, throughout your conversations together.
Share Your Interests
It’s essential to bring up hobbies and interests in the first conversation you have with the person you are trying to attract as it’s the fastest way to check how compatible you are together. The shared interests you two have, the better. Not only will it improve date-nights, but it will also make falling in love with you more comfortable as you bond over things they already love. Make sure you’re open to discussing dislikes as well, as there is always a chance of you strongly disliking something they absolutely love. This is also why you should never fake interests. Once the truth comes out, whatever feelings the person developed from the lie will disappear.
Flirt (Within Reason)
What’s the best way to show someone that you are available and looking for a partner? Make sure to flirt with them. Show interest by actively listening to what they’re saying by asking relevant questions while staying involved in the conversation with your body language. Everybody has an amusing small-talk story, so tell them yours and ask for theirs. Make sure to stay in a sweet spot; however, you don’t need to laugh at every sentence they say, but that is also not the time to play hard to get and check social media.
Eliminate the ‘Friend Zone’
Once engaged in a conversation with your potential partner, make sure to move closer to them. Don’t just suddenly plaster yourself on their lap, but smoothly step closer bit by bit, ideally after laughing at something they’ve said or when some flirty words get exchanged. You want to make sure that you eliminate any excess space between you, a literal ‘friend zone,’ to show them that you are not only interested in their mind, but also their body.
Keep Up Physical Contact
Don’t be afraid of consistent physical contact with your potential partner. At first, just try touching hands, bumping their arm when laughing at a joke, or casually brushing skin as you reach for something near them. Once a bond has been formed, things like holding hands, grazing their lower back, or even just patting their thigh, will increase their feelings for you. Usually, feeling physically desired is one of the first things people say when explaining why they’re in love with someone, so the more of that you create, the faster they will fall for you.
Don’t Close Yourself Off
While talking to the person you are trying to attract, never cross your arms, or continuously turn your body and face away from them. This gives off the vibe that you are not only unapproachable but closed off and uninterested in them. In a conversation, you always want your body language to reflect that you are only paying attention to them, and the moment you are sharing. This makes them feel valued and will lead to them wanting to talk to you more, making falling in love with you all the easier.
People will instinctively like you more when you treat them with respect and kindness. Being courteous to those around you can go a long way in making someone fall in love. As your potential partner watches you interact with strangers, they will use that to judge how you might treat them. In general, it is best to make sure your actions and words, towards others, reflect how you want them to treat you.
Show Some Flaws
No matter how perfect a person seems, we have all been through hard times, and no human is flawless. If you are looking to find someone who will love you through the good and the bad, you cannot hide the parts that they will eventually have to deal with. Some good examples are an insecurity that you deal with quite regularly or a trauma that affects how you interact with certain kinds of people. The chance of the person falling, and staying, in love with you is much higher if you address the not-so-great parts of your personality and past when they’re not bothering you rather than in the middle of an emotional fight. Revealing the hard times you’ve been through allows your potential partner to see that you are open to difficult discussions and is a chance for you to show how much you’ve learned from these experiences.
This goes both ways. When you see things about this person that may need to change in the future, don’t try and force it immediately. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Making them feel like you’re trying to change them will not make them fall in love with you. Instead, focus on developing the positive traits that you already like. The small things you currently dislike will either fade, change, or inflate in time, but since you can’t know yet which it will be, all you can do is enjoy the ride.
Are they Right for Me?
Be honest with yourself. This person you are spending time with, are they right for you? Do they show their feelings in a way that you enjoy? How does this person make you feel? You need to make sure that you want this person to fall for you because you also want to, or already, love them, not just to boost your ego. Before going through this process of making them love you, if you are unsure of how you feel towards them, consider staying, or becoming, friends first.
Consider your Intentions
Before making someone fall in love with you, carefully consider your intentions. Why do you want to be in a relationship with this person? If you are not careful and your intentions not pure, you will not only hurt yourself but another human who will inevitably have to recover from the fallout of your mistake, even if it was unintentional. Getting over your last relationship as a reason for trying to make someone fall for you is an excellent example of a bad intention. The only reason for starting a relationship should be that you care deeply for this person and genuinely believe that your compatibility will make each other better.
The level of self-confidence that you have can be seen in different ways; your body language, how you speak, and how you behave yourself are the most relevant in trying to make someone fall in love with you. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished and the experiences that have made you who you are today. If something you want to pursue is maybe not a conventional life choice, have confidence in the fact that you choose to do what you want, even if it’s considered different by the rest of society. In whatever you do or say, confidence is always key and will make you much more attractive.
For those already in a relationship…
Show Your Concern
If your goal is not just short-term love but a long-term partnership, make sure the other person feels that you genuinely care about your connection. Pretending as though you’re unconcerned about things that may be important to them, or the relationship itself will make more problems than it solves. It gives off the impression you have no interest in checking on what is not favorable, leading all the little negatives to pile up unseen, slowly turning from a small molehill of issues to a huge mountain. In the end, this always leads to resentment, which is the exact opposite effect you want. It’s ideal to avoid this situation altogether by making sure to show concern and care in all parts of your relationship, from the good to the bad.
Think About the Long-term
Where do you see this relationship going in the next few years? Have you seriously considered your plans before making someone fall in love with you? If you don’t see this relationship lasting due to something you’ve been planning to do for a while, like a move to another country, for instance, there is no point in starting a relationship. It is emotionally taxing to try and keep something going when it is not the right time or environment for your life. Also, don’t commit to something serious if you know that you only see it as a casual. A causal relationship does not require love.
Don’t Try to Change Who You Are
Don’t try to become something else for someone to fall in love with you. If the other person can’t love your true self, it is not worth it. You need to make sure that the love being shared between you and your partner is based on reality, not fiction. Also, be careful of one-sided love. Even if you’re already in love, you might not know as much about the other person as you think. Sometimes, we idolize certain traits a person has and minimize their issues because we just want to be in a relationship, regardless of the consequences. The reality is that some things are not meant to be, so be mindful of those signs.
Know One Another
The process of getting to know your partner should never end. One of the first problems that arise in the upkeep of long-term love is that we tend to forget, as we age and change, so does our partner age and change. Regularly engaging in an open and honest exchange of ideas helps someone feel like they truly know us. The exciting things you liked about them in the past will evolve. Make sure to keep with up their changes, just as you do your own. Details about their interests and goals are likely to change drastically over months to years, and memories of childhood adventures or movies they enjoyed will be more meaningful over time. Ask caring questions, and pay sincere attention to their responses. This will make your significant other feel continually wanted and loved, having the effect of making them want to check in with you too, as well as expanding their love for you.
Show Interests In Their Passions
Everyone is passionate about something. Of course, we want to pursue what we love with our time. From athletics to knitting, and everything in-between, there will be something that your partner does that is a fundamental part of what they are and what they need as part of their life. Showing an interest in this passion will bring your special someone joy, and where there is joy, there can be love. When showing this interest, however, be as real as possible. For example, don’t choose to try and watch football with them if you’ve always hated sports. Instead, although you’re not a big fan of art, the local museum has a new sculpture exhibit that your partner would enjoy, and as you love pottery, taking your partner would be a great way to show enthusiasm in something they like while not having to pretend you’re also interested.
Make Your Significant Other Feel Important
A simple concept, yet something easy to miss. Make sure your partner knows that they are important to you. Small actions like buying something they mentioned needing offhand the next day or putting away the laundry unexpectedly will make them feel as though you care. Make sure to ask for their opinions, too; we all love to feel like our words are important enough to be sought out.
Trust is the Cornerstone
Trust is the most critical quality of a healthy and long-lasting relationship. A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can sit in it for as long as you wish, but it won’t go anywhere. In any relationship, having trust in your significant other, and showing them through both your words and actions will make all the difference in how long you will last. Share secrets your friends might not know and open up about things you rarely express; the result will help your partner feel more comfortable, keeping their love for you strong. For someone to stay sincerely in love with you, trust must be in abundance.
Support Each Other
Maintaining a support system in your relationship is an essential part of tending to true love. Support from a loved one should not only comfort your mind, body, and spirit but make you want to improve on things that may be uncomfortable or scary. Unfortunately, often when people look for someone, they want to feel unwavering support and think it only exists in a romantic connection, when the truth is that this is the job description of a friend, not a lover. If you are only looking to make someone fall in love with you for their support, you need to evaluate why your friends are not already fulfilling that obligation.
Respect Your Partner
Respect is a necessary aspect of a loving relationship and is typically returned as it is received. Make sure to listen when they speak and answer with consideration to how they feel, especially on touchy subjects. If you don’t mind flirting with random people around them, you cannot have a problem with them doing the same. This includes their belongings. Sounds basic yes but avoid rearranging or moving their things without asking first. It’s just common courtesy. As the golden rule goes, treat them as you would like to be treated.
Be a Good Friend
Provide your partner with at least the same amount of consideration you give your closest friends. Act in ways that show you care deeply about them. Support them as both a friend and lover because you want to see them happy. Plus, this shows that you care about who they are as an individual, not just their role as your partner.
Giving Them Personal Space
Alone time and personal space while together are crucial for both parties in a partnership. Being mindful and respecting each other’s boundaries means sometimes you take extra precautions to avoid invading the personal space of your significant other. Make sure you each have your own friends so that you don’t get tired of each other’s presence.
Keep Things Spicy
Even if you’re happily in a lovely stable relationship, this doesn’t mean you should stop putting in the effort to spice things up. Falling into a daily habit for a long time usually means you’ll get bored quickly, it’s just human nature. This doesn’t mean that kicking things up a notch must be a grand gesture either. Sometimes a surprise brunch date or cute mirror notes are enough. Taking a chance to do things that may be entirely out of your comfort zones, like outdoor rock climbing or taking a salsa class, will only serve to strengthen your love by adding fun and exciting memories. Entirely new experiences, like traveling somewhere you’ve never been or starting a business together, is another way to add more zest to the ever-present spice of your lives.
Never Take Them for Granted
Last but not least, the best way to foster long-lasting love with your partner is to never take them for granted. Feel free to remind them regularly of how amazing they are and how grateful you are to have them by your side. Express appreciation frequently as you don’t want to feel the regret of realizing what you had when it was too late. Stable and healthy relationships require both parties putting in work to maintain their love, so make sure you share your gratitude whenever an opportunity arises. Telling them ‘Thank you for all that you are and do,’ is a great place to start.