Would you like to improve your relationship? Is your relationship going through a rough patch? You can use the different types of love language to improve things between you and your partner.
Dr.Gary Chapman explained the different love languages in his book called “The 5 Love Languages“. The book describes each of the five types of love languages. And how each person has their way of feeling loved (their love language). Knowing you and your partners’ love language helps make your relationship the best it can be.
What is a love language?
Language does not necessarily involve speaking.
The language of love is a way of receiving love or expressing your feelings to your partner. It helps to nurture a relationship and enables it to reach greater heights.
Each person feels loved based on their life circumstances and emotions. Therefore, you might buy your partner a beautiful gift, and they don’t seem very thrilled. Likely, gifts do not make them feel loved.
Perhaps they would have felt more loved if you had given them a foot rub. Or maybe by you helping with the dishes. In a minute, you’ll understand why.
The gift giver thought they were doing a great job showing love. However, they most likely are a person who loves receiving gifts. Of course, they assumed their partner would as well.
There is no right or wrong when it comes to which love language a person has. But knowing your partner’s love language allows you to show your partner love in the best way for them.
It’s not quite as simple as gifts versus foot rubs. But once you read this, you will wonder how you went so long not knowing the 5 love languages.
We each have one main love language
Every individual has one prime love language. The other ones are secondary.
Using this knowledge, you will experience a much happier and healthier relationship. When your partner knows your love language, they will show you love how you enjoy receiving it. And vice versa.
Let’s help you find more peace and serenity in your relationship as we go over the five ways to have a peaceful relationship.
Different type of love languages
There are five main types of love languages that most people use to communicate love. It is crucial to keep that in mind with your partner.
They feel most loved by you showing them love in their love language.
You will feel most loved by them showing you love in your love language.
At the same time, it is essential to nurture yourself with the love language that you prefer.
1. Words of affirmation are the first of the 5 love languages
This love language is for people who receive love through WORDS. They love to hear that someone loves them. Attention via emails, chats, and calls are some of the things that these individuals prefer.
You can express your love for your partner verbally or in writing and cater to their need for words. It’s not just any words. They want to hear appreciation, encouragement, congrats on things they’ve done well, and more.
Words of affirmation have several ways to be expressed.
Here are some:
- Does your partner like love poems? Use that! Take a paper and jot down the most exciting lines you find. Sneak it into your partner’s pocket or post it onto the fridge and see their face instantly light up!
- Try to be yourself. Even if you copy some lines from their favorite author, try to own it and say things that come from your heart. People with words of affirmation as their language of love consider words greater than action.
- Appreciate and acknowledge their presence, no matter what they are doing. They love some encouragement. You make them feel special.
- I love you! It would be best if you said this often. Try learning to say I love you in a few different ways, such as; I adore you. I love spending time with you. I’m so happy that you’re part of my life.Experiment with words on your partner. They are sure to love your gesture.
- Sending a little text message saying, “thinking of you” will warm their heart.
2. Quality time as a love language
There is no doubt that quality time with their partner is something everyone craves. But people with this love language want it more than anything else.
They feel valued when their partner wants to have a good time with them. They absolutely enjoy the undivided attention of their partner.
Some tips that will help you:
- Put the phone down! This is the most eminent thing you can do when you are with a person whose type of love language is quality time. Relax and talk to them without any disturbance from others.
- Listen to them. Making them feel wanted and loved includes listening and paying attention to everything they are trying to say. If you do not listen or pay attention, they will feel unloved.
- The term ‘Quality Time’ is just what it reads; you need to focus on the quality of the time you are spending with your partner. Sitting beside them all day will not count as quality time. Try to nurture the quality of the time that you are spending together.
- Focus. The key to making your partner feel special is to stay focused on them and pay attention to their needs.
3. Acts of service
People with this love language believe in action and will be most content when you help them. They appreciate assistance with things. They cherish the little efforts you make to show them they matter and are special.
You will have to show them that you care for them and love them instead of just telling them.
Some ideas that might come in handy:
- Make food! It does not matter which meal. It only matters that you care enough to cook for them. Make the dishes they crave the most if you can. That will make them feel extra special.
- Fuel up their vehicles. This action shows love and caring for people whose love language is acts of service. It’s even better if you don’t tell them and just do it.
- Ask for a date and plan for it. These people like people who make an effort. So plan a date they will enjoy, and watch them melt like butter.
- Please help with the job they dislike. If your partner hates doing laundry, then do it for them. Or if they hate taking their car for a wash, go for it. Even helping them with a job means a lot to their heart.
4. Physical touch – what a touching love language!
Physical touch doesn’t necessarily only mean intimacy. People with this love language enjoy the emotional warmth of your contact. It can be cuddling, just holding hands, placing your arm over the shoulder, intimacy, and more.
Physical touch comes in a wide variety of forms, so try to mix it up rather than focusing on a single one.
Some points that you might find useful are:
- Hugs, hugs, and bring on even more hugs! People who like physical touch are huge huggers. Greet them with a hug when you meet them and hug them when you have to say goodbye.
- Hold hands often. They love it when you show affection and love by holding their hand in public or private.
- Walk up to them and kiss them on the cheek and keep going. This shows them that you don’t want anything from them. They’ll see it as you showing true love.
- Run your finger across the small of their back or shoulders as you pass behind them.
- Cuddle up under a nice cozy blanket to watch a movie or talk.
5. Gifts – the final love language
Often we assume that there is not a single human who is not delighted with gifts. Gifts are tokens of love offered to show that you care and value a person.
Often your partner won’t crave costly gifts. They enjoy the gifts’ essence no matter what its value is.
Try to get creative, make something with your hands to save your budget, or buy a few things once in a while.
Here are a few gift ideas:
- Once in a while, bring over some flowers for your partner. They are sure to be delighted.
- Give them what they are craving. Fulfill your partner’s wishes by buying something that they have wanted for some time.
- Make a playlist and gift it to them. It may seem insignificant, but you can make it significant by incorporating the songs with your memories.
- Give gifts when it’s not an occasion. Doing that for no obligation but simply because you love them will touch their heart and leave them feeling loved.
What is my language of love?
The most pressing question now is, “What is my love language?”
This guide will steer you toward the correct answer.
Ask yourself these following questions to get an idea of what your love language is.
Give yourself one point each if your answer is yes to these questions and evaluate which category gets the most points.
- Do you like being praised?
- Do you acknowledge your partner saying, I love you?
- Does your mood lighten up when you receive compliments?
- Do you feel motivated when someone thanks you for doing something, even minor?
- When your partner hands you a note, do you feel happier?
If you score 3-5 out of 5 points, then it’s likely that your love language out of the five love languages is words of affirmation.
- Do you feel upset when your partner doesn’t make plans?
- Are you someone who enjoys spending uninterrupted time with your other half?
- Do you immerse yourself in every second that you spend with the one you love?
- Is time significant to you?
- Do you like to be the main focus of your partner, even in a group setting?
If you score 3-5 out of 5 points, then it’s likely that your love language is Quality time.
- Do you like your partner to support you in daily chores?
- Are you happiest when the least favorite jobs are taken care of?
- Do you believe people based on their actions?
- Do you prefer to work with someone more than alone?
- Are you delighted if your partner tries to ease your workload?
If you score 3-5 out of 5 points, then it’s likely that your love language out of the five love languages is acts of service.
- Are you a hug, kiss, and cuddle person?
- Do you like holding your partner’s hand in public?
- Does physical touch make you feel connected to people?
- Do you think physical intimacy is an essential aspect of a healthy relationship?
- Are you okay with a public display of affection by showing your love for your partner?
If you score 3-5 out of 5 points, then it’s likely that your love language is physical touch.
- Do you feel special when you receive a gift?
- Would you cherish any thoughtful gift without considering the price?
- Do you collect memoirs from any place you visit?
- Apart from others, do you often pamper yourself by buying gifts for yourself?
- Do you spread love using gifts?
If you score 3-5 out of 5 points, then it’s likely that your love language out of the five love languages is Gifts.
Which category did you get the most points in?
If you have a tie or close categories with many yes answers, you may have more than one primary love language. And that’s okay too!
It’s time for you and your partner to have some fun figuring out your love languages!
How nice will it be to be able to grow your love stronger and feel more loved too?
Click here to take the 5 Love Languages Quiz FREE https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/singles-quiz/